Gosh, sometimes it feels like an impossible feat to change these automatic, immediate, painful and panicky thoughts into anything different!
But I just keep reminding myself everytime I do this that IT IS POSSIBLE!
The other day I noticed myself going into yet another one of those AUTOMATIC habitual thought processes with the insecurity/jealousy/panic. As soon as I noticed it I made that choice to say to myself "okay, I can either sit here and dwell on the what if's and grow more and more miserable, or, I can choose to change it in order to begin feeling in a way I more desire to". I DID IT! I literally took hold of that negativity I was wrapped up in for 5 min. and grabbed it, shook it loose, and said NO MORE! I knew that its all up to me on how I want to live and look at things. I told myself that no matter what is going on on the outside its just gonna be no matter how I LOOK at it so I would be so much better off and taking so much better care of myself by letting it go and letting it be. I realized at that moment the destruction I have been doing to myself by hanging onto that which I cannot and will not ever control or change. All those years of abusing my body through anorexia and now I'm still abusing it with all this worry/fear but I can change it just like I chose to change the eating disorder, no different!
