Hope You All are Okay

Hi Kimmie, no I haven't given up on the board. A few times I tried to post and it wasn't working, it timed out on me.

Still fighting the good fight here, trying to decipher what is the right course of action to take and what would be harmful to me/my company/my son so just keeping it to myself for now - seems better.

My situation is different because my personal life and business life are entwined like a Celtic Knot - I can not make a personal decision without it affecting the business, nor a business decision without it affecting the personal. I do not like it this way, but it is the mess I have created, so I have to "untangle things" as I can.

The thing about untangling messes is that they have to be done slowly and with care if the majority of things important are to be kept intact. Sort of like knots in one's hair. If I get a big knot in my hair I can take the time and slowly work the knot out, which leaves most of the hair intact with only a few broken pieces. If I yank at it and get impatient and start pulling too hard I break a lot of hairs and leave a lot with split ends and damage. And...if I cut the knot out, then I have lost that bit of hair completely. If it is a small knot then cutting it out may be a good course of action to take, but if it is a big one it could ruin the look of the hair to have a big chunk cut out. LOL - I do love using analogies.

So right now I have a "rat's nest in my hair" so to speak, and I am trying to untangle it strand by strand. Sometimes I make things worse, sometimes I get a bit of headway towards "untangling the knots". It is a slow and painful process.

Still here though - now that my computer seems to be co-operating a bit better I will try to post more.

Ana

Hey I love using analogies too! My mom and I do this all the time when we're talking. With clients I use the analogy of thought like being a parent that doesn't discipline their kid, the same with our minds, we just let the thoughts come in and jump up and down and around without saying anything, just letting them do as they please.

Well, you know that eventually you will work things out in the best way for you or else you wouldn't have gotten as far as you have now. You have a lot of positives to feel good about. Its the same with me, I know I have a lot of things to feel good about but there are definitely times it seems no matter how hard I try it doesn't seem to budge and I get irritated with myself.

For me lately, I think I might be starting to experience mid life crisis, maybe not full blown but a touch of it.
There are things that I get the urge to do but thats as far as I seem to get, is just thinking about it and no action. I lose motivation real easy. I have a ton of ideas but I still sit and take NO action on any of them. I really think its the mid life thing.
I've heard people going through this and they get to the point to where they don't even brush their hair or change out of their night clothes or clean house or anything. I'm not quite that desperate yet. I do still keep myself up and the house and do chores.

I have become very recluse and isolated in the past 4 years. Now that I don't work outside of home anymore I am not around people too much. The last set of friends I had made turned out to be really fake people. The ones I have now are real busy with their families/kids and so its hard for me to relate or fit in.
I've seen people who become a recluse and it is not appealing. Its real easy for me to slip into that category and always has been. But once I make just one step out I prove to myself how much better I feel being involved with others, but that one step is always difficult and I always fall back down again. This has been a lifelong problem for me.

Well, I got off subject there sorry. I usually just blurt out whatever comes in my mind, not always a good thing!