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superstar - founder
395 posts

My hubby is on call 24hr. today. That makes for a very tiring day. Plus he was called in last night at 9:30 for an emergency c-section and was there for about 2.5 hours and then had to get up at 5:00 this morning and go back all day and night. I feel bad for him when he has to do these long ones.

As I was driving to the store this morning I was pulling up to the light in the turning lane and stopped because the light turned red, all of the sudden I feel a big bang in the back of my car, the suv behind me had hit the back of me, I looked up and thought "what the", I was afraid to look but got out of the car to go back and see if it had smashed anything, surprisingly I didn't see anything wrong, I look back at the driver and they just had this look of could care less, the light changed, we all proceeded and the suv kept driving right on my tail and I was becoming very irritated at this point. It was like an attitude thing. It was a younger blonde haired girl driving. I pulled over into the auto parts pkg. lot just to make sure I didn't miss something. It really sounded like it could have done some damage.
I just keep thinking had I done that I would have at least rolled down the window and said I'm sorry or at least wave my hand and let them know my fault.

So I want an opinion, am I too quick to jump to a judgement on someone with this? I tried real hard to remember the things I've learned about letting someone get you riled up that it does no good whatsoever and only dampers your day, but with these college aged kids that are saturated around this place I live its very hard to remember this. They all seem to have this disrespectful and sarcastic attitude about them, an I don't care attitude. I see it everywhere I go around here. Then I look back at when I was that age and seriously don"t remember anyone acting like that.

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KimmieKoKo
regular - member
139 posts

Sorry to hear about your incident. Hope the car is perfectly ok. Good thing you are ok and that she didn't hit you hard.

Some people are just ignorant. I recall them being ignorant when I was that age too. I don't think you wre out of line about her at all. She was a rude jerk.

superstar - founder
395 posts

She actually hit me hard enough that it jolted me so thats why I just couldn't figure out how there could not be any damage. I was shaking afterwards because I just knew something happened to the back of my car. It took a little bit for me to calm down from it. It just irked me that someone can be that rude and uncaring. My husband said I should have made her get out of her car and come to check out if we needed to call the police and thinks I should be a little more assertive. I have always had a problem being assertive enough, I'm always afraid to say something to the other person.

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KimmieKoKo
regular - member
139 posts

I am very assertive in that sort of situation. When I have been rear-ended I stop the car in the middle of the road, get out and demand the person's driver's license, then tell them where we will pull over and discuss what to do. I get angry about that sort of thing. Sometimes a tendency to get angry can be bad, but sometimes it can be good.

I am a good complainer. You have surely noticed that lol. I have a lot of practice - I have lots of things to complain about lol. Again, sometimes this is bad, but sometimes it is good as I have learned to be assertive when I am wronged by strangers. If my food isn't done how I ordered in a restauraunt I will always send it back or if no time I get it comped.

If only I could be assertive with people I am close to. There I have a problem. I don't care if strangers think I'm a bitch, but I do care what friends and acquaintences think. Sometimes good, but sometimes bad.

superstar - founder
395 posts

My weakness in the area of assertiveness is what has gotten me taken advantage of so much in my past. I'm always fearful of drawing attention to myself or making a scene. I don't know why I fear it but I do.

I am trying to work on this and it really does feel good when I put it into practice. I guess its self doubt is why I'm not assertive, because I'm never sure if I'm in the right or not, like I could be overreacting to something and then cause undue attention. I also start to worry that I might be hurting their feelings or worry about what they might say back to me. I just hate confrontation of all types. But this is not so good. People view someone like me as weak and tend to overlook my opinions because I'm so doubtful.

I tend to be a little more assertive with the people I am close to but only to a certain extent, I still have the problem with them too. I have a hard time standing up for myself on things. Then whenever I do gather the courage to do it I immediately start to doubt whether I am being over the top or not.

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KimmieKoKo
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