Please pray for my Mom. She had a heart valve replacement about 5 yrs. ago and they had told her that with this type of valve that it normally only lasts for about 4 or 5 years, that was the only drawback of this type of valve but she felt at the time it was the better choice.
Well, now she has been experiencing some problems, ever now and then she has these spells where she just starts pouring sweat, getting chills and really weak. This just happened again the day before yesterday and she thought that she just got overheated while working out. She went to the dr. yesterday and they told her she needed to have the valve checked because that sounds like the symptoms.
I get nervous thinking about if she has to have the valve replaced and having to go through another surgery.
This may sound really selfish, but I started having thoughts about her heart/diabetes/age and realizing that she's not just going to keep going forever, and the thought about how much I depend on calling and telling her everything that goes on with me and stuff like little piddly stuff that I can't talk to my husband about (men don't talk this talk) and I don't have a close sister to talk to or a long time friend (anymore) to talk these things with, well that started really upsetting me last night, you know its the old anxiety and worst case scenario bit with me, and I was really trying to control this by talking to myself as if it was a counselor talking to me, trying to look at it more calmly, saying "none of that has happened yet, that is not currently the case so just let it go and be in this moment, for now you are safe and relaxed here in bed, and whatever comes your way you'll handle just the same as you've handled everything else difficult that has come your way in the past, no difference". Then I became a little more calm but then it started again once my husband came to bed, it was already 4:00 a.m. but we both woke up at about 2:30 and he got on the computer, he was really sleepy by that time and I was trying to tell him that I was having these terrible thoughts like feeling like I couldn't handle it if that happened and he said "so what will you do then, go running down the street with your hands up and screaming", I laughed and said "yeah I guess", and also he said "look at all those times you went long periods of time without speaking to her because of friction, you did just fine then". I said yeah but thats when things were not going smoothly between us and I really didn't WANT to talk to her, this would be different because its been going better.
Anyhow I'm getting too lengthy here....
